Chronicles of a HeadCase.

What is the direction, where is my head? unscrupulous connections are leading me back to the small spec of dust that is the city.  No, nothing there but silhouttes and vivid illusions. Where do I go from here? The solidarity of being me is starting to weigh me down and I am gasping for air. There is a realization of enigmas. My delusions are so obvious that I cannot go mad. That would be escape, perhaps. This free fall into the oblivious grows tiresome. Maybe I need to land eventhough I am urged to crash, yes, crash into you. The crack of that door is ever tempting. A meditation of mindscapes. What is the destination then? This unintelligible scream of voices in the distance. Feel ignored, don’t give and receive… i told you so? no, I don’t believe that infection will attract me. or will it? I’m glad to have found minds of the same kind. It is gratifying, eventhough self-defeating. Behind that window, is another window across the vast seas of desserts. The grass is greener on the other side, but it is always the other side, no matter where you go. The beauty in nature and the composure of your surroundings that you see and capture so clearly. You must crave for such beauty in yourself and perhaps your desirable objects, you know they are temporal. Its comforting to know you have the chance to escape for a while, for the sickness that we share can be forgotten, for seeing your struggle every moment reminds me of mine. Then it becomes more real than reality itself. The aging of this logic and reason, makes one feel like a fading star among many that appear inches away but are infinitely out of reach. Yes, it feels like we are so close but we are so far apart that I do not want to make the mistake of reaching out. So, time has it that I sit in this pseudo room, and the streaming of an unknown reason fills the air. The wandering spirit of the stallion is strong, life attempts to tame us into submission… but we have our escapes. Maybe we could escape together someday.

~ by case on May 15, 2005.