Chronicles of a HeadCase.

The image of an ideal, sometimes shouldn’t be too set in place, as life throws you many curve balls. And we have a tendency of keeping things boiled up inside that every chance you lose the grasp of that lid, it pops open blowing off steam that burns the nearest person… chances are, someone close to you. So, how to let it out? Sometimes, talking about it doesn’t help either because we hide so much of what we feel inside. Then the tempting option of hating, the least healthy choice that puts you in a juggernaut path of self destruction… it can be fun though. lol. I guess, sometimes, we feel so strong that we need to take a step back, and look from the outside… know that perhaps, we should allow ample time for that sprained ankle or torn ligament to heal, before we go out on a marathon and cause more damage that you end up confined in your room incapable of dealing with anything or anyone for some time. hmm… the best alternative? maybe, spend time doing what we onced loved so much… spending time with our best friend… ourselves. Rediscovering, shiet maybe reinventing the insides of this dilemma so you will be better prepared when you take the next fall. I would do all the things I always wanted to, but never got around it, I would write, get back on stage, play basketball, draw, read all the books that I’ve been recommended and write to all the friends I’ve neglected all these years. And by all means, please don’t shut off your emotional switch, it leaves you an empty shell of misery and loneliness…. its not very fulfilling eventhough if you don’t feel, you don’t hurt. I guess thats what makes us alive… and I guess thats why so many people watch all these dramaz on TV and reality TV crap that fulfill the need for that nonsense, because their lives have become empty, lifeless and gray. Of course, the best short term solution (and cause) to your problems,to blow off steam, is just go drink yourself blind and wake up soaked in puke… oh yea… great idea… and then you groan and mumble saying: "I’m never gonna drink again…. ever…." and you find in your hands a heart you must have ripped out during the night of oblivous drunkardness! lol…

~ by case on June 20, 2005.