Chronicles of a HeadCase.

What course of action does a person take to awaken the souls trapped in a resolved nightmare? What does it take to finally cut off the webs of deceit that yet enslave the mind of the meek? There is naught that can be done while the woeful entanglements linger in the bowels of this desecrated temple. There is much room to grow but all its space is filled with empty frames and hollow echoes. Remnants of a past… I never witnessed a hold that could choke the life out of life itself. I regret… solemnly regret I could not have done more. And nothing enrages me more than the residue of a charlatan’s misguided and careless deed to such selfish desires… such selfish inaugurations. Such cruel intentions that I may have been capable of so long ago, that the last ounce of conscience in a friend saved what was left of me… for that I am ever grateful. Yet, the recognition of such a suit… such an insipid thoughtless use of a heart, shames me for what I had done… even though this outcome was not an action of my own. A pain that I could now only partially fathom, for all the karma of misdeeds I had accumulated would not come close to the harm that has come to pass from this familiar adversary. Who else could see through these facades than an ex-conjurer of such illusions, of such imitations of faith. As I look back now, I am so thankful for the path that was laid before me and all of the unbeaten trails that I took by an inch of a marginal choice. Now, there is nothing I can do but hope for the best for a novel resolution. I have failed as a person in the past, now as a hopeful friend, all I can do is, any of the impartial necessities I can offer for this comatose patient. I can do more being outside of the picture even if it is not the picture I had imagined… I had desired. I bid the lavish freedom of my exploration a solemn farewell and return to be, what I know of myself to be true and pure. The outcome is vividly cold and I realize that I am an apparatus of the wheel in motion. So let the churning resume once again……

~ by case on July 5, 2005.