Chronicles of a HeadCase.

The mental imagery of space frozen in time, breathing ice cold emotionless waves through each moment of matter… so perpetual and so captivating as we gaze into that mind form, a blackhole that consumes what warmth and life force that would otherwise bloom a full hearted consciousness. There is an identifiable sadness in the beauty of this form that leaves an agonizing madness in place of reason. A warped illusion of being contradicts every aspect of these consumation of lives. While we are awed by its beauty, it serves as a constant reminder what this space we think we occupy, really is. It is the same idea as some of us who dream about being part of the clouds, a bird… even as simple as a flower. The grass is always greener on the other side… but what if there was no other side? so… empty isn’t it? peaceful, free but empty. The calming of our mind requires that all of us explore every possible avenue of being, understand it, feel it, embrace it…. and the hardest of all… live it. White discussions and endless echoeing of ideas and of the possibilities are pointless… We can talk about climbing Mt. Everest all our lives and never do it… wasteful thinking… we can talk about visiting a loved one and never come to pass… regretful living… I can discuss philosophies and what should be for hours… and it will dissipate just as quickly as another thought flows through. What do we hold on to and when do we let go? Is there an equation to the formula? I see that, it is both; but this method is most painful and yet unfeeling. Remember the moments you are happy and sad at the same time… or lost and found altogether… it is the axis of feeling life and death, that puts you through life at full force and yet, as light of a passing, comparable to a breeze rippling over water. This is quite a formidable task… and the best of us would give up before even trying. So many of the strongest and most exhuberant of us, remain trapped in stasis, by the awe of our very own minds… the beauty of our lovely illusion. sigh.

~ by case on July 10, 2005.