Chronicles of a HeadCase.

I figured some of the things I was afraid of as I was growing up,  coming back home… I remember now how I felt about life here. I was scared of becoming another face in the crowd. Another spec of dust in the sand. On the other hand, many of my friends who are here, that are so comfortable with the life that surrounds them, it surfaces a touch of envy from me. I don’t know if I will ever be happy wherever I go now. Maybe until I change the set of my mind. It is, after all, just a state of mind. Its easy to say none of it really matters anyway, but what does matter to you… should? I guess.

More importantly, I was afraid of settling for a mediocre life, one that would pass so quietly and gently, that no one would ever noticed or cared. And yet, now that I am a little older, I realized the simplicity of being. Just being. It doesn’t matter if anyone cared, unless I did. Passing on without causing too much of a karmic wave is ideal… or so they say.

I am fortunate for all the sights I had the opportunity of seeing, and the lives I had the fate of touching. Inadvertently, I had become a smaller spec of dust, in a sand dune far more vast than the one I bore from. The irony of the situation was that I had been a part of many people’s lives wherever I had roamed, but most of which never even knew my real name. haha… or me for that matter. I wonder where will the winds take me next… back to florida? here for a while? Latin America? … hmmm. I don’t know if I could stay in KL forever, nor the states for that matter. I don’t belong here nor there, but everywhere… at least, thats how I feel. So, I guess time will spin my tale while I run in circles chasing after my tail. lol.

~ by case on November 3, 2005.